The City of Troy, New York, "Where Henry Hudson Turned Around."

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


The Troy Polloi is excited to welcome a new columnist. Please give a warm round of applause to:

On The (f)Right Side

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The Right Reverend Hawley Smoot

First, I'd like to thank Mr. Democratus for this opportunity. Despite the fact he'll still burn in hell, it was a gracious gesture to allow me to post my thoughts and ideas in this pagan-infested den of iniquity.

The Holiday Season is upon us and with it comes the usual spat of Holiday movies. Parents must tread carefully when they wander into the unholy thicket that is modern culture and the Reverend Smoot is here to help. I'd like to address one particular piece of cinematic 'art': Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

As a disclaimer, I harbor no prejudice against any religious groups. It makes no difference to me (or to God) if you are a Christ-killing Jew, a Papist worshipping the whore of Babylon, a cowardly Quaker or a maniacal Islamist bent on the destruction of all innocent things. If you aren't born-again, you're going straight to hell. I can help your children though and we'll start by keeping them away from 'Harry Potter'.

Now, I haven't actually read the books or viewed the movies but I don't need to spend time in Dante's 8th Circle of Hell to know I don't want to live there.

The Goblet of Fire is the fourth book in a series of books about a young wizard (the aforementioned Harry) and Hogwarts, the 'wizarding' school he attends. The Goblet of Fire, and we're not sure what that is but you can bet it's pagan, is a trap for the unwary.

Wizards and witches are presented as caring, normal people, albeit with magical powers. Non-Magical folk, or Muggles, (read: Christians) are presented as bumbling, mean-spirited folk. Spells and enchantments are taught at Hogwarts. Hogwarts is co-educational and we all know what that can lead to: snogging!One spell, the Magna Viagra spell, sums up what Hogwarts is all about.

In The Goblet of Fire, students from two other wizarding schools come to Hogwarts to compete in a contest of wizarding skills. There is a student from Beauxbatons, an unapologetically French school, and a student named Krum from an Eastern European country (but obviously a country harboring Communist sympathies). One character, Hermione, actually betrays her school by dating Krum.

In another scene, Hogwarts students desecrate a church by smearing house-elf feces all over the church. Underage drinking is rampant when the students go into Hogsmead. Butterbeer is consumed in great quantities. The Head Master, Dumbledore, is unabashedly pro-abortion. That is just the tip of the iceberg.

The purpose of these books is to desensitize your children to the dangers of magic and the dark arts. To make such things appear acceptable. Worst of all, children around the world will line up at midnight just to buy a copy of one of Rowling's works. That's how insidious this new pestilence is, children wanting to read! I don't want to tell you how to raise your children. If you want to consign their souls to everlasting damnation, be my guest. But, if you care about your children the way I care about them, stay home and rent something wholesome and normal such as the Wizard of Oz.

Thanks, Rev. Happy Thankgiving to all. Be good and be safe.

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