LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT

The crack staff at the Troy Polloi is currently working on an in-depth analysis of Decision 2005! They have slaved away for at least four minutes on this analysis and will put in another four to five minutes before it's complete. It's exacting work, requiring an abacus and scalpel. Stay tuned.

The future of the Troy Polloi is up in the air. At the very least, we can't continue to post 3-4 times a week. It's a lot of work (at least 15 minutes a day) and things will quiet down on the political front for awhile. Besides, the Warden is cracking down on our computer privileges. We may only post once or twice a week. If you want, we can also post debate threads. Suggestions are welcome (example "Should the City Charter be amended to require all elected officials to wear mutton chops? - Discuss).

We do have a special letter to Upstate Republicans. It's from the big man himself.

Dear Upstate New York Republicans:

I wish to apologize for my part in your dismal performance last Tuesday. Many good candidates lost due to my unpopularitude. Polls show my approval rating at 36% Yes, 36% Do not despair, however. President Buchanan was much less popular than I is. In the next few weeks, I expect my popularity to skyrocket to 38%, bypassing President Franklin Pierce. Then, look out, Herbert Hoover!Like the other problems in my Ministration, I take full responsibility.

The problems I are currently experiencating are problematic and it was with great dismay that I flushed them your way.

Still, my resolve is firmed and I am firmly resolved. The success of Democrats in Ulster County, Saratoga County, Buffalo, Suffolk County, Nassau County and Schenectady County was perpetrated by outside groups that hate freedom. Their increasing success is evidence of just how desperate they are.

I will need all of your help in the upcoming days. The Democrats may try to filibuster Judge Alito, my choice for Supreme Court (Hey, I thought he was Hispanic, turns out he's Italian, who knew?) Judge Alito displayed the full range of his judicial abilities during the O.J. Simpson trial.

Gotta run, Scooter's on line three.

George W. Bush

Presidentiary of the United States

PS Joe, I found another job for Bobby M, call me.

cc. Senator Joe

Say what you want, but that was nice of him.

We finally found the Dan Crawley sandwich. It took some time but it was well worth the wait.


The Dan Crawley
We had ours with a side order of angioplasty and a stomach pump.*

Finally, we want to condemn all personal attacks on politicians. We call on everyone to end the politics of personal destruction.

* Sorry, Dan, please don't have us arrested