It's no secret that Troy Republicans, like their county brethren, will seek to raise taxes this year. October may be a tough month for Harry and the boys and next year will be even tougher for the innocent residents of Troy.
In an attempt to lighten the tax payer's burden and to "give something back", The Troy Polloi would like to suggest an alternative to raising taxes or a way to keep next years tax hike down: a local celebrity auction, with the proceeds going to the city coffers.
Here are just a few suggestions for bid packages:
1- A Weekend Renovation Package - Councilwoman Karen Messick will come right to your house for a weekend makeover. Want that wall removed? New hardwood floors? Do it all without having to get any work permits!
2- Spend a night on the town with Bob Krogh - View Troy's exciting night life with one of the areas most charming elected officials. You'll never no where the night, and Bob, might take you but you can bet it won't be a Council Committee meeting.
3- Get that great nights sleep you always wanted - Councilman Bob Armet will personally come to your home, start to talk, and we guarantee you'll sleep like a baby.
4- Home Budgeting - Are those bills piling up? Money tight? Let Mayor Harry Tutunjian teach you all he knows about saving money by switching insurance agents. "I did it," says Harry, "and saved over $60,000."
5- Driving School - Spend a night at the Bob Mirch driving school. Learn from a man with a colorful driving record that dates back to the early 1980's.
6- E-Mail Made Easy - Let Councilman Bill Dunne show you how to use your workplace or home e-mail account. Warning! We cannot guarantee that your boss won't catch you.
7- How to Succeed in the Public Sector - Afraid you can't cut it in the real world? Are the fields of medicine, law, engineering or business just too competitive? Let Dan Crawley show you how to leech off the taxpayers at any level of government.