The City of Troy, New York, "Where Henry Hudson Turned Around."

Friday, February 23, 2007


Please welcome Vespasian.

Representative Kirsten Gillibrand is doing something no other Representative is doing: she’s publicizing her daily schedule. It can be found on her website. (You can also get a high-resolution photograph of the Congresswoman as well – much better than the Barney Frank hi-res photo.) According to the Washington Post, she is one of only two members of the US Congress to open their schedule to public scrutiny. The other is the newly elected Senator from Montana, Democrat Jon Tester.

A quick review of Ms. Gillibrand’s site reveals only one entry. Perhaps a slow start. I hope to see greater detail in the weeks and months to follow.

Greater transparency in government is usually a good thing – although one should keep in mind the old Bismark proverb – laws are like sausages, you’re better off not seeing how they are made (although lobbyists are generally better dressed than meat grinders). Indeed, too much do-gooderness can be a bad thing. The Federal government is big, complicated and confusing, much like the menu in a fancy French restaurant. And, like a menu in a fancy French restaurant, it’s best not to order something you can't pronounce. Accordingly, we must elect public servants that are not the equivalent of snotty Frenchmen waiters. Senator Tester and Representative Gillibrand, by allowing us a glimpse into their activities, are providing a means to make sure we don’t order dog pooh warmed in a light pastry shell and smothered with mushrooms and capers in a red wine sauce.

Would our local magistrates do the same? I would enjoy reviewing Three-Job Bob’s daily routine, as long as the scary parts were edited. And what unsavory activities would be avoided by our local politicos if their daily activities were available for public review?

Fortunately for Troy Polloi readers, my imperial spies have uncovered the daily diary of Mayor Tutunjian. It’s entries are revealing. Here’s the February 13th entry:

8:30 a.m. The usual. Ate breakfast while watching Saved By the Bell. Must try to be more like Mr. Belding.

8:45 a.m. Stopped by Stewarts for cheese Danish. Saw 3-Job getting a cup of joe after shift three as Bruno’s constituent liaison.

9:15 a.m. Napped at my desk.

10:00 a.m. Took call from 3-Job about job as Mayoral Liaison to County Legislature Liaison Office.

10:30 a.m. Had screaming match with Mitchell when I suggested Proust's transcontinental sentence structure contribute to the appearance of a motionless plot in most of his work. Mitchell disagreed and said the gap between young Marcel and his older incarnation, the Narrator, creates a stereopticon effect, by means of which Proust's works spring to four-dimensional life. When I disagreed, Mitchell said I was a motionless plot. He is so bourgeois.

10:50 a.m. Fell asleep talking to Mitchell.

11:30 a.m. Woke up and had city employee wipe drool off desk. Thought about fresh candies.

12:00 noon: Went lunch with 3-Job to discuss new job as head of Dept’ of Troy Enterprise Centers (note to self – is there a Dept’ of Troy Enterprise Centers?)

2:00 p.m. Flipped through the new Cosmo and clipped pics of hairstyles for CC.

2:21 p.m Mirch called about tonight's storm. Said he just did a maintenance check on all equipment. Suggested I use one of the old, industrial snow blowers if I wanted to help out.

3:00 p.m. Thought really, really hard about new revenue.

3:01 p.m. Got headache.

3:15 p.m. Began new list of people to blame.

3:21 p.m. Senator Joe called. Told him I wouldn't call a Snow Emergency. As usual, asked if I ate paint chips when younger.

3:30p.m. Reviewed and approved editorials for The Record

4:00 p.m. Complained about Bill Dunne to no one in particular.

5:00 p.m. Tired, went home.


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