Here's a letter to Judith Wos from October 2003 (click on the thumbnails):
Straightforward stuff until you break out the Rensselaerian - to - English translator.
Translation: You like feeding your family?
Translation: Made my list, checking it twice.
Translation: For just a little more than a dollar a day you can help feed a Republican. Every three months you will receive a letter from the family you sponsor, with a photograph of your Republican and an update on how they're doing.
Translation: Don't really care if you purchase a ticket or come to a fundraiser, just make sure that your contribution equals $359 and we receive it in the next few days.
Translation: Send money now!
One can imagine this plea as a commercial: Mr. Casey (Sally Struthers?)walking slowly through Republican Headquarters (County Office building?). We see images of GOP appointees, stomaches bloated from malnutrition. Flies land on their faces and on their inadequately filled bowls of rice, fingers bandaged from campaign literature paper cuts, throats hoarse from anonymous robo-call recordings. Some nearly collapse, exhausted from the two or three jobs they need to merely survive. They look up at the camera and our hearts go out to them.
Just click on the Sally Struthers icon to help.