According to The Record, Troy has have adopted a new policy prohibiting people from taking photographs of children ice skating at a public arena. The NYCLU has threatened to sue the city unless the policy dropped.
I found this story interesting because (1) I believe I can offer our Mayor some constructive criticism regarding his public relations tactics and (2) this policy is stupid.
According to The Record, Hizzoner said the following with respect to the NYCLU: "The same group that is fighting the use of surveillance cameras to protect residents in high crime areas is now arguing against a policy involving camera usage that aims to protect the youngest and most vulnerable members of our society. That is very ironic." Priam, Tutunjian is not.
I'm fairly removed from 10th grade Latin, but as I recall, irony entails some sort of twist, wherein the opposite of what is expected actually occurs. For example, it would be ironic for the Mayor to condemn meatball wedges.
So, here's my suggestion for the Mayor: Change your quote to the following: "The same group that is fighting the use of surveillance cameras to protect residents in high crime areas is now arguing against a policy involving camera usage that aims to protect the youngest and most vulnerable members of our society. That is very typical of people who so clearly hate America and it is definitely not ironic." Not only does this amendment correct the Mayor tryst with creative vocabulary, it also puts the enemies of all things good and righteous against the ropes, just like Frazier did to Ali.
But let's take a step back for a moment. Caligula tried to prohibit frescos from being made of the young, strapping, gladiators at the coliseum- and look what happened to him. Now, I'm not saying that Deputy Dan is going to round-up a few praetorian guardsmen and have the Mayor removed. Dan doesn't have the sand for that.
No, the real problem with this policy is that it is just plain stupid. It's similar to regulating the ownership and use of handguns because a few bad apples might actually kill people with them. Actually, its worse than that. It's more like outlawing shooting targets because it will make those bad apples better shots.
In addition, it affords special treatment to a class of children that doesn't include my kids - kids you can be proud of. Why should they be afforded special treatment? Next thing you know, Hizzoner will be trying to outlaw chocolate because some people overindulge and become obese.
Now wouldn't that be ironic?
Although we chose to publish Vespasian's Editorial, we must disagree. We support Harry on this one, despite the fact the new policy may adversely impact Lansingburgh's budding Japanese tourist trade.
We support the policy so much, that we've implemented our own, similar policy. We've blackened out the faces of the various politicians over on the right. It's our hopes that such steps will reduce the salacious quality of those images and prevent someone from taking matters into their own hand.
Our suggestions, unlike Vespasian's, are designed to aid our Mayor rather than poke fun at him. First, how about a sign that prohibits pedophiles* from the ice skating rink? We just thought it would cut out the middle man. Secondly, photos of the sign tend to make you look silly. We suggest a companion sign. Something like:
Finally, increase the penalty for disobeying signs.
*Pedophile derives from the Latin pedophilia, meaning lover of bicycles.