The City of Troy, New York, "Where Henry Hudson Turned Around."

Monday, May 01, 2006

SAY IT AIN'T SO, JOHN

Congressman John Sweeney has wrapped himself in controversy this week for allegedly getting plastered at a Union College Fraternity party. It's made the news and has been featured here and here, among other places.

After reading the articles, all we can say is, shame on you, John. How can you disgrace New York's 20th Congressional District with such outrageous behavior? Resign now and salvage some dignity. Really, John, Keystone Light? Come on! If it had only been Sam Adams (especially the Winter Lager), you might have survived this incident. But Keystone Light? Disgraceful. Have you no shame, man?

In all seriousness, we must defend Congressman Sweeney. Let us surmise he was intoxicated and there were people under age at the party. Has it come to such a point that public figures can't do anything a little off-color? Must they be sterile automatons, worried that every aspect of their private, as well as public lives, will be scrutinized? Sure, Keystone is an awful beer and it was a poor choice, but it was a frat party. It's not like they can afford a half-keg of McEwan's. And we should offer thanks. We're lucky Sweeney wasn't caught rushing the fraternity, using his ass cheeks to drop bing cherries into martini glasses. Now that would be news. Besides, Sweeney committed no crime. It's not as if he were a black man riding his bike in Troy.

Now, lets take a look at the photographs:

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Forget Sweeney (who looks like he's passing something other than legislation): We like Bob Marley there, back in the corner. What exactly is he smoking? Is it a 'straight' cigarette or perhaps something more aromatic. Perhaps some fine, Guatemalan North Slope Trip Weed?

Finally, a word to the kids. Fella's, hanging with a congressman at a party is slightly less interesting than hanging with your dad's accountant. It's so sadly establishment. Now, if it's the '50's, and you get a photo with Kerouac, that's cool. The '60's, Mick Jagger. But a congressman? Very lame, indeed.

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Later this week, Harry has a Spargasm.

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